A Letter To My Father

A year ago, 17th October 2019, was a day I will never forget. It was the day my beloved Abba (father) passed away.  NOTHING prepared us for his sudden passing. A perfectly healthy man, except for old age pains, he returned to his creator in a matter of minutes that day.  Receiving that call, from my sister, had my legs give way beneath me.
Just 3 days before He passed away, we were with him for a family zikr/prayer.
Who would have thought,  that last hug and a kiss on my cheeks from him, was his final goodbye to me.

I had written a similar post, A Letter To My Mother, after my mum’s demise.  This one, took a little bit longer, but I needed to put my thoughts to paper.  There should never be any time-limit to grieving.  I don’t know if the loss my family and I feel, will get easier or more difficult with time,  but this is just my way to help myself heal a little bit.
My Abba was from very humble beginnings, he never earned a huge salary, but he worked tirelessly,  physically with his hands,  since he was a teenager. Due to Financial restrains on families back then, he never had the opportunity to be able to complete his schooling career. Nevertheless,  He exemplified what a son, brother, husband, father and a community stalwart should be.  Always humble and Content in life,  he became an inspiration for many.  He started serving the community from his young days, growing up in Sea Cow Lake/ Kenville.  He spent endless hours, with the Prominent Soofie Family, from Kenville and Riverside, Durban.  On the evening of his burial, many Islamic leaders from Durban were present, and he had the hugest burial send off, the Phoenix community had ever seen. ALHAMDULILLAH (PRAISE BE TO ALLAH)

I’m so proud to be a daughter of such an amazing man, and pray to be even a fraction of what he was, AMEEN. 
So here goes…my little dedication letter to my Abba.

A Letter To My Father
Written by Marriam Essa-Sayed

Wiping away tears is easy,
But wiping away the pain and heartbreak your passing has left, is most difficult.

Only God Almighty knows how difficult a journey this grief has been for a year already.  I can’t even begin to comprehend how YOU had managed with the many loses in your life.
Your absence from our lives,  has left a huge gaping hole.

You were not just OUR LIGHTHOUSE, But a LIGHTHOUSE for the community and so many people that knew you.
you stood tall,
weathered every storm,
and a true beacon of hope.
Like a LIGHTHOUSE, you offered us all illumination,
and guidance.

I still find YOU burning bright like a LIGHTHOUSE,
Your Beautiful Smile and Features,  radiates from my brother,
Your protective nature, encompasses us with so much love and care from my eldest sister,
Your jovial nature, that illuminates moments, can be found in bursts from my youngest sister.
As for me, I pray I can be as Strong as you, and be that Beacon of Love and Hope, for my siblings and family.
I pray, that everything I do,  emulates the way you did it, SELFLESSLY and ONLY FOR THE PLEASURE of God Almighty.
I pray to be a LIGHTHOUSE, just like you were.

We love and miss you, every single day, in every moment of sadness and joy.

2 years back, I sat with you,  and re-read to you my dedication to Mummy, “A Letter To My Mother” ,  we both cried and hugged. And I know how much this letter would mean to you, as you and mummy saved every little message from us.
I pray, this letter helps others that are grieving, to heal as well.


Ya Rabb, THANK YOU for giving me Just the PERFECT ABBA, MY 1st  LOVE, MY 1st KING. 
Oh Allah, please Grant my beloved Abba, Abdul Wahab Essa, ease from the Punishment of the Qabr(grave), Fill his Qabr with Noor(light) and Grant him the best and Highest stages in Jannah AMEEN!!!!
Grant me and the rest of my family, the strength to overcome this trying phase in our life, AMEEN. 

My Abba was Our Lighthouse. This here is the Iconic Lighthouse, on the Umhlanga Promenade, in Durban. This Lighthouse towers above the Umhlanga Rocks Beach, which holds special memories for my siblings an I, as my Abba often took us to that beach, for early morning walks or a bit of a splash among the the rocks. (Photo captured October 2020, Huawei P30 Pro)


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